It’s a funny thing this marriage thing. 🙂
My boys were teasing me the other day saying, “Mom always has ‘a hunderd’ projects to do!”
That’s actually quite accurate but I defended myself saying. “You are darn right, it’s my love language!”
I was only half joking.
Have you ever studied personality differences and the five love languages according to Gary Smalley? It’s really very fascinating. I happen to feel loved by spending quality time with those who care about me. Which so happens to fit nicely into the form of “projects”. I live for projects. I responded to a comment in a previous post about how I’m busy, saying “busy should have been my middle name.”
I think that I come by it honestly. My mom isn’t happy unless she is busy fretting about something or someone. You know it’s true mom so don’t even poo poo me! 🙂 Her dad was a busy man as well, though not as much in a good way I’ve heard, until late in life he mellowed out a bit so I’m told. They are Italian, does that tell you anything?
Anyhow all that to say that the “projects” and the pets and the tending and the fret is how I feel loved. My husband on the other hand is a conversationalist. He loves to talk things through, argue things through and come to a conclusion based on the best theological thesis, so to speak. When I bring him a project I just want to get to it and he wants me to debrief him first. I want him to drag junk out with me and see how it all comes together he wants me to present my plan in a lecture while he sits and debates (in a nice way) how the project could be done or might come together more easily. You know we can go round and round! It is a good thing that I’m not shy and I don’t get offended easily though at times I don’t remember that he needs the talkin’ through and I feel like he is challenging me when in reality he wants to make sure he can please me by completing my project.
I am kind of rambling but I’ve been needing to think through this personalities thing for weeks. I loaded the five love languages quiz onto my side bar, it doesn’t show up but the link is still there. It’s quite a kick if you haven’t looked at it before.
When you can see why a person does what they do especially when it is so different from your own way it makes life go a lot smoother. Differences are what makes the world go round and yet we fight it every day. God made us each unique and yet we try to make everyone fit into the same mold. Why do we do that? I think it is because we don’t see beyond ourselves.
I see my plan to have pigs and he sees dollars and sense and the fact that we haven’t talked pigs in weeks.
I hope I will continue to learn. Even now I can think of at least 10 other people who I could apply this though to and by learning more about the way they tick I could have a much better relationship with them. It just means getting outside myself and doing a little work.
I think I will make that my next project!