The Long Long Story- Short Version
Where to begin?
My internet boyfriend?
Life in the long long trailer?
It’s a story about control. A story about learning to give up the illusion of control. This is my testimony written and documented as a “stone alter” to remind me where I’ve been. Equally it’s the story of my ever growing love for my husband a memoir for my children, a written legacy. It is the story of their parents and more importantly the story of the Lord’s unending provision.
It is not always a pretty story and I haven’t attained all that I’ve reached for throughout the years but thank the Lord I haven’t been given what I deserve! He is a good God, giving good and perfect gifts but sometimes that did not include the very things I had my sights on. The desires of passionate moments faded away and in their place my Jesus has given me a full and passionate life.
How about I start with the short version. Remember, Jessie doesn’t do short so I will give it my best shot!
I asked Jesus into my heart when I was five. I can still remember it in vivid living color! My Daddy and I were sitting on the carpeted landing of our three story, turn of the century home in downtown Coeur d’Alene (Core-duh-lane, it’s French). My mom fondly recalls how I would tell complete strangers my address pluckily including the “downtown” part in my montra! There is a different feel in “downtown” and even as a five year old I knew it.
Each block had a dozen or so quaint old houses. Huge oak and maple trees lined the street yawning with their branches over the road, touching in the middle creating a canopy of glistening leaves in the spring and summer. Those same trees with swelling roots had pushed up the sidewalk in places but people didn’t mind, they just bumped their baby carriages around the crevasse and went on their way awestruck by the sheer beauty of their surroundings. We had one such tree but it sat back off the road, almost close enough to climb into from the window at the landing where we sat.
I would sit with Daddy and press my little nose against the glass to watch the Robin’s nesting and caring for their young. Year after year the same family would return to the cradle in that old maple to gather twigs. Weeks would pass and the mother would lay thumb sized, speckled blue eggs. She would sit patiently while father, with his beautiful red breast, would flutter off busily caring for her until the chicks had hatched, and then they both would busy themselves caring for the young. Sometimes I could see the sharp beaks stretched out from fuzz topped heads blind and helpless, waiting for morsels of goodness.
I’ve often thought of those brilliant birds as an allegory for how God places us here on earth then watches, drawing us while His truth grows inside us ready to burst through the shell of selfishness into a realization that He is the one true King. Jesus provided a way for us to get out of our mortal shell and really live, then he carefully feeds and cares for us through His Word (spiritual food) and the fellowship of believers as we mature into strong God fearing individuals.
But I’m getting ahead of myself and my story is getting long!
Sitting there that day watching the Robins with my dad I asked probing questions about life and our existence. Soon he could recognize that the Holy Spirit was working and he asked if I would like to have Jesus in my heart! My own heart picked up it’s pace as I pondered the magnitude of this decision. As much as a five year old mind could I understood that I could not get out of that shell alone. I needed Jesus.
Daddy prayed with me and covered me with his protection and guidance for the time being. I understood the Father because I had the example of my own Daddy and I wanted to grow up to be like him.
Thus began my journey and consequently my life!