A Mini Donkey Tried to Eat Me!

September 14, 2009 at 9:00 am 8 comments

It was the horseback ride from_____ well, lets just say it was an adventure.

Thing 1 begs me every day to take him riding so this time I said yes.  We have a little pinto mare whom he calls “his horse” that has an arthritic knee (from an injury) and can’t go anywhere too fast so he is pretty safe on her. 

We waited for Matt to come home, shoveled down a quick dinner and piled out the door hoping to sneak out before the Bubba could see what was happening.

Thing 2 didn’t want to get left behind so I doubled him on my “Mountain Mare” and we headed down the trail.

We went along fine for a while but 5 year old Thing 2 is not the most natural of horsemen and when my horse jolted forward unexpectedly I suddenly had his feet up under my armpits.  Instead of bringing her to an immediate stop all I could think was to grab for him behind my back, hoping to catch a clump of his shirt.  He was howling and wailing while she loped ahead and he bounced around on her rump while I tried desperately to keep us both atop! 

We made it through that one and it wasn’t long before the howls of surprise subsided.  The 5 year old can get quite emotional over anything unexpected.

Meanwhile Thing 1 was plunking along on his little mare when we came to a large tree in the trail.   She could not lift her bad knee high enough to clear the obstacle so with a crash and a bump she ended up high centered over the thing.  In another instant and a horrendous struggle she made it over completely, fell to her knees and then stumbled back up to her feet.  I have no idea how Thing 1 managed to ride it out with out a peep.  Poor girl banged up her sore knee.

 We finally made it out of the woods about 3 miles down a fairly steep grade to meet back up with the road below.  My horse decided that she was bored and started eyeing everything with suspicion. 

We rode about a half mile on the road where a garbage can tried to eat Mountain Mare, then my neighbors fluffy dog; a bunch of cows, a rabbit in the weeds, a bicyclist and a motorcyclist then a kind neighbor who stopped in his pickup truck to let us pass.  He said hello in a voice so deep and smoothly rich that it startled me as well!  Thing 2 told me later in a high pitched squeak “I hope I sound like that man when I grow up!” 

I could not get my horse to settle down and I worried about another jolting ride for Thing 2 so I hopped off and led us back up the road to the trail head where I figured we would be safe from horse eating monsters.

We settled in again Mountain Mare and I in the lead with wiry haired Thing 2 clinging to my waist and Thing 1 surprisingly quiet (for once) following behind on his poky girl. 

Not 100 feet into the woods we came to a fence and the cutest little gray donkey that had to stand less than 30″ high and was certainly that wide!  But Oh *^$&*+ I am sure I heard my horseswear as her head snapped around to get a better look and we both saw him squeeze that fat belly right between the gate and a big black railroad tie it was chained to.

In an aggressive move I didn’t expect from such a cute little booger he bolted up to Thing 1’s horse, reared up and snorted in her face.

“Don’t let them sniff,” I scolded him then tried to urge my horse ahead to keep the mares moving farther away from the crazy donkey.  My son’s mare stood frozen in fear while I am certain by the look in her eye, my mare continued to think up unkind words to describe the angry gray monster.

We got a little ahead and the donkey left Thing 1’s mare to gallop past my horse and attempt to kick her in the knee with both hooves flying.  “Hang on TIGHT!”  I hollered at Thing 2 who had practically climbed into the saddle with me, arms and legs wrapped around my waist, head pressed into my back, this time no howls.

When the little guy came galloping back through the brush and the trees Thing 1’s horse decided she’d had enough.  She rammed into the back of us then jetted around my horse and ran as fast as her little legs could take her with the mini chasing from behind.

“Hang on! Hang on TIGHT!”  I yelled, still trying to cling to my double rider with one arm and steer my horse up the rocky trail with the other.

Suddenly the donkey turned back but our horses were not convinced, I allowed my mare to lope in order to keep up with my oldest and his runaway pony.  He was hanging on like nobody’s business but had lost his stirrups so legs and boots where flying and flopping, at first on either side of the horse and then slowly he leaned…

and I watched, as if in slow motion, as he bounced until off the side he went.

I was a little too close to the accidental dismount on a very narrow trail so my horse had to jump in order to avoid stomping his feet or a leg. 

In just twenty feet or so the riderless horse stopped and behind me the horseless rider got up, groaned a little then started hiking.  I wasn’t sure if he was mad or personally offended but he wasn’t seriously hurt, thank the Lord.

I had to hike the three miles home up the steep trial dragging two horses while Thing 1 limped along, only his pride hurt but his horse too banged up to ride. 

Back at home the boys told Dad we had an adventure and when Thing 1 retold the story he claimed he “was born to fall off!”

All because of a horse eating mini donkey.

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Entry filed under: Hey What's Goin on Here?, My Goofy Life and Motherhood Uncensored. Tags: , , , , , , .

Tomato Harvest For Kathryn

8 Comments Add your own

  • 1. thelumberjackswife  |  September 14, 2009 at 10:12 am

    I definitely have never had an experience like that!

    Reply
  • 2. Kathryn  |  September 14, 2009 at 12:18 pm

    I’ve had my fair share, but not one like that!

    I did go trail riding Friday. Probably won’t again. Too many limitations with rented horses.

    Sometimes i miss having my own. 🙂 I’ll enjoy reading about YOUR rides! 🙂

    Reply
  • 3. Linda  |  September 14, 2009 at 6:29 pm

    What a story, and you are a great story teller! Thanks, Jessie, for sharing your life with us in a way that makes us laugh.

    Reply
    • 4. glutenfree4goofs  |  September 14, 2009 at 9:19 pm

      Your welcome 🙂 It makes me laugh to make others laugh!

      Reply
  • 5. Julia  |  September 15, 2009 at 9:43 pm

    O M G! That was quiet a riot of a ride. I think I would have got off and kicked that little bugger myself.

    Reply
  • 6. Michele  |  September 19, 2009 at 10:25 am

    Wow, you and your sister seem to have the interesting stories and as someone else pointed out you tell them soo well. I can just picture your kids with the horses, and i can soo picture thing 1 after he fell off the horse, hes a funny kid, and a tough one thanks to you lol. Cant wait to hear the next crazy horse story 🙂

    Reply
  • 7. Angie  |  September 28, 2009 at 8:51 pm

    That was hilarious! Thanks for sharing. My husband thinks I’m cookoo after watching me laugh at the computer and seeing tears well up in my eyes while reading your great story!

    Reply
    • 8. glutenfree4goofs  |  September 29, 2009 at 11:41 am

      Thanks, I’m glad I could add a little joy to your day 🙂 Sorry to make you look cookoo though!

      Reply

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Us and Our Thinglets

MATT - Food Creativity Consultant, Joyful Partner in Crime JESSIE - Photographer, Amateur Food Critic, Blog Author CAPTAIN OBVIOUS - formerly Thing 1 Thing 1 SCARFUNKLE - formerly Thing 2 IMG_3466 LOUD KIDDINGTON - formerly THE BUBBA 3 PEE WEE MINI ME BORN March 8, 2011

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Sourdough Update

Many of you have been checking back for results on my sourdough creation. At the moment it is still a science experiment, but a happy, bubbly experiment. Never fear, recipes will be here! I did make a beautiful, moist and delicious loaf of sourdough using yeast and a myriad of other ingredients but I'm still trying to create something more user friendly. Wouldn't it be awesome to have a starter on the counter that you could add 4 things to and have a loaf of bread by dinner? Mmmm! Attempt #1 - rose well but resulted in a dense chewy blob Attempt #2 - rose ok but was thin and lifeless then fell and another dense (not so chewy) blob Attempt #3 - to the dogs! Attempt #4 - A sourdough pancake success see post under what's for breakfast gluten-free goof? Ongoing - I've tried several more times and am going to try a completely different approach on the bread starting this week. (Mar 18). My sourdough is still happy on my counter and it makes great pancakes but it's a lot of work just for pancakes. Keep checking! April Update: She is still kickin and I'm still workin on a yeast free, gluten free sourdough loaf! May Update: My sourdough "pet" has been dried and retired until next baking season. I've traded her in for a hotter model, the BBQ! :)
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